Writing Exercises Help: Who'da thunk?

"I write only when inspiration strikes.  Fortunately, it strikes every morning at 9 o'clock sharp." ~ W. Somerset Maugham

That quote irritates the crap out of me.  I read it and think "Well, bravo and good for you, Dubs!  Let me slow clap while you sashay your butt out of the room."  (I realize that he passed in 1965, but you get the gist.)

We are told that as writers we must write every day, regardless.  And I get it.  You will never play the cello like Yo-Yo Ma or paint like Pablo Picasso, if you don't practice.

Speaking of Picasso, I found an inspirational quote of his, that I feel is more helpful:  Inspiration does exist.  But it must find you working.

Love it.

People who get writer's block are jerks*

*W. Somerset Maugham never said this ... probably

Recuperation, Procrastination, Frustration, and Determination.

My last post was in February?  I knew it was a long time since I had written a blog post, but, I didn't think that it was that long.

I refuse to do any writing when I'm going through an ordeal.  I may jot down ideas, I may even read, but I certainly won't write.  When I have done so in the past, revisiting that piece to edit or polish, just brings up all of the bad memories associated with that time in my life.

I've been going through some major stuff in my life and I haven't felt like doing much of anything, let alone writing. 

When I felt well enough to get back into the swing of things, I felt the dreaded writer's block.

Speak Proper English Like What I Do

My dad, Geoff, is pretty darn funny, and he says that line as often as he can.  He has also had the opportunity to use this other gem a few times in his life and he is always pleased with himself: Of course the Queen's English, she was bloody born there, wasn't she?  Zing!

My dad is from Yorkshire, England, and he emigrated here to Canada, roughly 40 years ago.  Hence, the Queen reference.

He's a giant kid who happens to be in his sixties.  He is a Harry Potter expert (for those of you who have seen an HP movie with him, you can attest to this, as he spends an hour telling you what was "wrong" with the movie afterwards), he can tell you what the outcome of an episode of Reboot (a shout-out to all my Canadian friends here) will be from the first few seconds he sees, and he owns every Pixar movie.

*Not my actual Dad*

Picture courtesy of http://loldamn.com/never-grow-old.html

Up to My Eyeballs in Crap

I have been metaphorically and almost literally, up to my eyeballs in crap.

The house in which my mother and mother-in-law live, had a backed up sewer pipe, which, caused sewage to back up into the laundry tub, and over on the floor.  A few times.  

We hired a plumber who was trying to save us some money by attempting several ways to clean out the pipe before determining that it had actually collapsed.

While he was playing at Bill Nye The Plumbing Guy, we had to keep bailing out the laundry tub into empty paint drums and Rubbermaid storage containers.  At one point, my fiancé, drilled a hole into the laundry tub so it would self-bail into another tub.  Is this how an episode of Hoarders starts?

Imagine this ... but with sewage.

Picture courtesy of http://www.grinningplanet.com/2005/05-10/joke-plumber-cartoon.htm

The Novel's Protagonist: Frankie

In my previous post, I gave you my first stab at a book jacket description of my novel.  Today I thought that I would give you a bit of insight into one of my characters:  Frankie.

I'm still shopping around for her last name, but essentially, I have everything I need.  

(FYI:  I was able to complete a full character bio using Sarah Domet's "90 Days To Your Novel")

Aidan's Main Project: The Novel

"The Novel" is what I have been working on for roughly six years, in some may call, a sprint-like fashion.

The main idea came to me in a dream and I began to write.  Many things halted the writing process:  work, relationships, life, writer's block, an affair with Hugh Jackman.  Just kidding on the last one.

Picture courtesy of http://www.businessinsider.com/the-wolverine-wins-weekend-box-office-2013-7

Your book is your soul

An idea came to you while driving, dreaming, brushing your teeth, or sitting at your desk at work while watching that weird guy across the aisle from accounting making a weird face and doing that irritating non-sensical humming again.  You think "A-ha!  By Jove this will be the best story in the history of the world!"  And you begin to jot down ideas.

The more you work on it the better it is.  The lead character is Slade, former S.A.S. who bottle feeds kittens, his love interest Tippy Stardust, the hooker with the heart of gold ... the more you type the more you feel that the muses are urging you, no, insisting that you write this epic.

He wants justice.  Sexy, sexy, justice.

Picture courtesy of http://www.comicartfans.com/gallerypiece.asp?piece=357183

But then ...

Reality kicks in ...

I participated in my very first Twitter chat, hurray!  For some people this is pretty commonplace, considering, that Twitter has been around for years.  But for me, it was a first, and, was fun.

Robert E. Brewer of Writer's Market has created the "2014 Get Started Write Challenge".  For each day this year, he plans to post a writing challenge and it's your mission to accept or not.  So far, I have completed 8/8 challenges, and I'm actually enjoying each one.  One of the things that I am finding quite helpful, and motivating, is that he is posting his attempts at each challenge.  It may sound a bit sappy, but, I feel like it is more of a group challenge, than a solitary venture.

The challenge for January 8th, was to join in a conversation on Twitter, using the hashtag of "gswc".  During the chat, one of the participants asked for each of us to post a link to our blogs.

That's when reality kicked in for me.  My immediate reaction was "Oh God, no."  I said that.  Out loud.  Complete with a literal gasp.

Picture courtesy of http://comiczombie.wordpress.com/2014/04/18/6-terrible-superman-movies-that-you-wont-believe-almost-happened/

Being a Writer Ain't Easy

I have read a lot of articles on writing.  

And I mean a LOT.  

How do you create the perfect villain?  How do you write the perfect ending?  How do you describe scenery so the reader doesn't want to rip their eyebrows off and run around their house screaming?  Ok, one of those isn't a real title.  

Picture courtesy of http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2138678/Edvard-Munch-The-Scream-painting-fetches-119m-Sothebys-auction.html

I just started a blog. What?!

Yep.  

What have I published?  Well, I've started a few projects but I haven't exactly ... um ... finished ... any.  So why start a blog?  And more importantly, why start a blog about writing if I haven't actually published anything?

I read an article over on the Writer's Digest site called "At What Point Can You Call Yourself a Writer?" by guest columnist Susan Henderson.  She says:

... it’s not the published book that makes you a writer.  You’re a writer because of the things you notice in the world ... you can imagine something in such detail that it comes to life ... because you’re weird in the ways you want to continue being weird.

Just ask this guy.

Picture courtesy of http://www.weirdal.com/07tour11.htm